Spiritual Care: A Guide for Caregivers by Judith Allen Shelly

Author:Judith Allen Shelly
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2009-02-03T04:30:00+00:00

When to Pray

Prayer must be used in the context of compassionate presence, in a relationship in which adequate communication has taken place. When a person has expressed pain, fear, anxiety, stress, helplessness or joy (either verbally or nonverbally) to the extent that we can identify what the person is feeling, then we can pray appropriately. If you do not have a fairly clear understanding of what is bothering the other person, you are not yet ready to pray. Praying prematurely with someone is likely to cut off further in-depth communication.

On the other hand, be careful to avoid using prayer as a way to end a conversation or visit. Prayer often triggers deep feelings within a person. The verbal interaction after shared prayer may be more significant than the conversation beforehand. DeArment states, "A further test of dynamic and thoroughly legitimate use of prayer at the bedside is your willingness to stay and respond to the feelings and words of the patients which the prayer has touched."2

In situations where anxiety is high, be alert for spiritual needs. Times of waiting and uncertainty provide opportunities to pray with others. Prayer can be especially helpful preoperatively, before major tests, after admission to an unfamiliar environment or when potentially frightening equipment is applied (such as ventilators, electrodes or monitors).

Early in my nursing career, Rosella Valenti taught me the value of prayer in a time of high anxiety, hers and mine. Recently reassigned to the intensive care unit, I still felt unsure of my competence when Rosella was admitted after a major heart attack. Rosella belonged to my church, but I did not know her well. She seemed relieved to see me there and asked me to pray for her, which I did. The head nurse was not pleased. She sternly warned me to keep my religious practices out of her unit. The next morning, however, Rosella seemed delirious, complaining loudly about the "green men" who had violated her privacy and treated her roughly. She seemed to think she was on a spaceship. She continually cried out, "Oh God, help me!"

Then I caught a glimpse of a surgical team making rounds in their green scrub suits and considered how Rosella must feel in her cubicle, attached to monitors that beeped and an IV catheter dripping a strange solution into her veins. Of course those men must have looked like aliens from outer space! I went to the head nurse and told her that I honestly thought I should pray with Rosella, explaining that it might calm her. Then I gently laid my hand on Rosella's arm, explained where she was and what was happening, and prayed for her. She relaxed, smiled and said, "I really did know those men were doctors, I was just so scared-but I know the Lord is here too." She never "hallucinated" again-and I had blanket permission to pray for patients after that.

A basic guideline to determine whether prayer is appropriate in a given situation might be to ask yourself, "Whose

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